Conversation Regret

I can't read my handwriting when I pray

the words come too fast for my hand

His hand

His hands are bleeding and He smeared them on my prayer,

my paper, blurring the page- running the ink

He smeared them on my face, my neck and chest, stomach, legs

down and in between

He put them in my eyes, down my throat,

in my ears

and said, "Put your ear to the sky and listen my darling, everything whispers I love you"

He told me that in a poem and a song.

I felt safe

and I shared too much

Because I know I don't have to carry these sins any more

Because I know I don't have to burden other people with what I have done in the past

it's in the past

paid for.

transaction complete

making in obsolete to vomit my guilt in heaps

on my friends laps, in my family's hair

So God gave me a beat poem

and He took it and He put His hands on it, all over it

and turned it red

The night of the big moon

On nights when Orion is out and there is nothing between you and me but the telephone wires, on this night, can you hear me?
Can you hear me now that the air is tonic? I put my words on the effervescent stars bubbling up to the rim of the sky unobstructed.
If I am ever to have a prayer that You hear, it must be on a night like this one.
Standing beneath an arid Autumn tree, out of place in Spring, a modest breeze swirls the parched leaves too stubborn to fall and "Shush-shhhhhhhshush" my worrisome prayers.
Rock a bye baby in the tree tops.
A Mother hushing my fears away.
The moon came out to play tonight too. Too close this time and got caught in the dry branches- and something else, tied to a twig, shining in its' light, a crystal bell! Bouncing as the leaves shush.
Out of no obligation, but simply a Father indulging His daughters frivolous plea, the bell tinkles.
Yes, on nights like this You are near.
But it's not that You can't hear me on other nights, it's just that on other nights I'm usually inside, and that is a difficult place to see Orion's belt, and it's not possible for a dried up old tree to "Shush!" you, and it certainly is no place at all for a crystal bell to ring by itself!